Some days it's hard to look at L. Itsababy's face. He's so breathtakingly beautiful... literally sometimes I can't breathe when he looks me in the eye. He's so perfect and so much US. I can see so much of his father in him, so much of myself, and so many past generations peeking out from unsuspected corners. He has my grandmother's ears. I miss her so much and every time I see his ears, I know she's going to be listening to him forever.

Right now he's alternating between cooing at the hanging toys on his baby gym and crying in frustration when he can't make contact with the toy he's reaching for. It sounds like ducks, sort of. A strange but gorgeous babbling brook that every so often coughs up this milk-mucus bubble sound.

It's a bit frustrating to see him still not gaining weight.Oh he's GROWING, don't get me wrong.  He's currently wearing his 3-6 month onesies and they're getting a little short, even if he doesn't fill them out width-wise. Not bad for being 10 weeks old today. The pediatrician has asked us to start supplementing his diet, which seems like a battle I've fought before, you know? I'm just tired of fighting the same battles. I started taking fenugreek (which is working for me) so I can have enough to both feed and pump, and give fortified bottles a few times a day. This should give us a good back supply of milk, which will make it a lot easier for TJ and I to get things done. I won't be as tied to the house as I have been.

Also helping with not being tied to the house is L. Itsababy getting his shots. We've been going places and seeing people and I'm not afraid that he's going to catch the black plague from some crazy old lady anymore. We went to church on Sunday and it felt WONDERFUL to be back. It had been way too long since I took the Sacrament, and it felt wonderful to renew my covenants. L. Itsababy was pretty good for the service, and an angel for Sunday School. He went to sleep for Relief Society, and woke up with just five minutes left, which was a good 3 hours of good behavior, and made me feel like an actual good mom.

I started keeping a food and exercise log, to help track what foods give L. Itsababy trouble, and to make sure I'm eating enough good fat. I've walked 6 miles so far since Sunday, which really isn't enough for me. T and I are supposed to go jogging today when he gets home, but I think I'm going to try to get in a few extra miles before hand, maybe a few more after. I really want to meet 30 miles this week.

I've also discovered Sukhi's Indian food, which is delicious. I made chicken vindaloo in the crockpot for dinner last night, with onions, potatoes, and bell peppers. It was delicious, easy, and fast. I'm going to try to figure out a home made spice base to do it again from scratch later.